DiversityInc - March/April 2009

Career Advice

BY ZAYDA RIVERA

Things NEVER to Say
to Women Executives

Sometimes, a term of endearment can be anything but endearing.

“I had this manager who … started referring to me as ‘honey,’” recalls May Snowden, former chief diversity officer for both Starbucks and Eastman Kodak Co. (one of DiversityInc’s 25 Noteworthy Companies in 2008), who is now president and CEO of Snowden & Associates, Inc. “[It was] when I took my first director position. I was in a male-dominated job in the telecommunications industry and I did not want to embarrass him in front of his peers, so I invited him to my office and indicated that ‘I won’t call you “sweetie” if you won’t call me “honey.”’ We had that little conversation and he stopped. He was really embarrassed, [and because] he calls his wife, his daughters and other women ‘honey,’ he did not even think about it.”

“We all come to the table with biases and histories and upbringings in life that give us a perspective that may have 20, 30 years behind it,” says Sherry Nolan, director of global talent management, development and diversity at the Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co. “The truth of the matter is that we all come to the table with different perspectives, and what we’d rather have is folks saying, ‘Hey, how do I address that?’ or ‘How would you like me to think about this?’ or ‘What should I call you?’ We use this notion that we may stumble a little bit or not get it right the first time, but with more practice, the more authentic dialog we’ll have with diversity in our organization, the more productive and engaged our people will be.”

So to make sure there aren’t some unconscious biases informing that harmless comment you are about to make to the woman in the next office, take a look at eight things you should never say to a woman executive or coworker.

Any kind of sexual comment

At a previous job, a supervisor approached this writer and jokingly said, “I’ll give you a dollar for five minutes alone in the copy room.” I was shocked, embarrassed and utterly offended. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel at liberty to speak up, so I simply walked away.

“It’s pure ignorance,” says Karen Brown, chief diversity officer for Rockwell Collins, one of DiversityInc’s 25 Noteworthy Companies. “The best way to deal with these things is to consider it as a perfect awareness opportunity to teach that individual something that they never would have had the chance to learn before then.”

Brown says offensive comments such as these are a problem for more than just the employee on the receiving end. “You’re going to create an environment where people struggle and therefore lack the freedom to be innovative and comfortable,” she says. “When you remove those barriers and create a culture that allows people to flourish, you get better engagement, better retention and better results.”

“You don’t really want that promotion … you’ll never see your kids” “There is that preconceived notion that a woman cannot work more than the 40 hours per week, especially if she has a family,” says Brown.