DiversityInc - January/February 2008

“If you go into labeling and blaming, they just feel like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill,” says Brigid Moynahan, president and CEO of Montclair, N.J.–based The Next Level. “Problem is, we assume bias before we find out if it is bias.”

2 Research how others are treated.

Do not go to other executives and ask if they’ve experienced similar problems. That comes across as rumor-mongering and implants the behavior you’re asking about in their heads.

“When you don’t have any tangible evidence, you shouldn’t engage anyone else,” says Young.

Once executives check with others, they’ll likely find that the negative behavior is not directed at them personally but is a pattern of behavior. Learning that allows an executive to further depersonalize the slight and deal with it objectively.

“Look for an objective assessment of what people are doing that does not depend on the possibility of interpersonal forgetfulness,” says Rowe. “I’ve known a nontraditional person who thought that recognition of nontraditional people was overlooked. Instead of complaining, they arranged for the meeting to be videotaped. Suppose I’m the only brown-skinned person in meetings and over time I begin to think I get passed over in meetings. Suppose I could keep a video record of meetings where job responsibilities are handed out or reports made. Often, that objective evidence tells the story.”

3Keep a personal log.

Sometimes these slights are based on stereotypes. For example, the executive who has a disability is overlooked for promotions because the supervisor remembers the person’s disability before remembering the person’s accomplishments.

“So it is extremely important for the employee who feels they’ve been underrated to make sure that they can present a whole slew of facts, a detailed write-up or a detailed memo to show what they’ve accomplished throughout the year,” says Marc Bendick Jr., principal of Bendick and Egan Economic Consultants.

“When I’ve asked supervisors of minority employees the [executive of color’s] level of education, they always remembered too little education,” says Bendick. “When decision-making time comes, the outgroup employee had better actively fight the effect by presenting accomplishments in writing.”

Rowe agrees, saying that a personal log of accomplishments can serve as an objective assessment.

“Keeping a log will show it,” says Rowe. “Lists are objective data.”

4Be the best performer.

Make sure you’re the best performer, especially if you’re a person from a traditionally underrepresented group.

“If I’m the best performer, then over time I’m likely to be treated with more and more respect,” says Rowe.

“In most modern organizations, if you’re the best performer, you’re well protected. I’ve known women of color, white women, LGBTs and others who have decided that the sturdiest way … is to be the best performer in the unit,” says Rowe. “If you know someone who was in a difficult place and became the best performer, then one finds he or she has understood exactly what the job is, what good performance is and how to get there. It’s harder for that person to get derailed because they understand the system around them.”

5Educate the boss.

The time has come to approach the boss, but don’t ambush her. After you have increased your performance or kept a log for a while and observed others experiencing similar slights, ask for an appointment with your supervisor, says Bendick.

“Point out to the boss why there is concern. If an employee starts to complain … it’s more likely [that] the boss won’t realize this is part of a bigger concern. The boss probably perceives himself as being neutral and unbiased, even though he isn’t.”

Make sure your critique is not personal but covers the behavior. Start talking about the supervisor’s strengths.

“When giving feedback, first find something you value in the relationship and the person,” says Moynahan. “So say what is important, such as, ‘The work we do together is very important and I value your input.’ Then you critique the behavior and reveal how you respond to the behavior. And be specific about the goal to connect and do better work.”

If in your discussions with other employees you learn that others experience the same slights, you can suggest that a training program is instituted or further developed to include what respect means, says Rowe.